Making changes

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Changes for my son and for us, as adults, can be so hard at times. We have, in most cases, created so many self-defending bad habits that it can seem impossible for change to happen.

For me, I am in the middle of trying to lose weight after a few health setbacks over the last few years; and it’s a struggle everyday breaking all of my bad eating habits. All through treatments–with all the highs and the lows–food was my comfort. When I was able to eat, it was a small victory, a middle finger to my at-times, almost-impossible journey.

I know… It’s important to come to root cause of why it’s so hard to make changes (and also why it’s so hard to keep to them). In most cases, we overestimate. We imagine we have vast will power (in psychology we call that “restraint bias”)…  It’s our ability to control our implosive behaviors (more to-the-point and in a lot of cases: our inability). There’s a study that shows that  a substantial majority of dieters regain all their weight within a year—or wind up even heavier than when they started.

So after we realize our root cause for not staying with (or, in some cases, not following through on) what we want to change, what do we do next? That is what’s key: “What’s next?” We must always ask that question.

• Picture in your mind what you want to be or what your goal is.
• Visualize it and start behaving like the thing, habit or goal you want to be.
• It is process of conditioning our minds, as some studies show our behaviors about our own character and proclivities, we don’t peer inward, as we might expect; instead, we observe our own external behavior.
• If we see ourselves trying to do a particular action—whatever the actual motivation—our self-conception molds itself to explain that reality.
• So, yes, it is the power of positive thinking, of visualizing our goals, and conditioning ourselves to believe in our goals. We may not always reach them, but sometimes it is our journey that we find is just as important.

Now as for my goal, I am working on getting  my comic-book hero’s physique: the Dark Knight himself, Batman. Now, if only I could visualize those billions!